It’s OK to be Single

Gaydar Blog

Gaydar Blog
10 November 2017

“HOW are you still single?”… I don’t know Dave, HOW have you been in love 3 times since last Christmas?

I hate that question!

The fact of the matter is I do not know the answer, and quite frankly I don’t really care right now! For years I have stood in front of the mirror, half empty wine bottle in hand, asking myself “what’s wrong with me?.” Why have I been left on the sidelines whilst everyone around me gets loved up, moves in together after six months and gets a French bull dog…

Honestly? Right now I’d be happy with just the dog! I cannot imagine waking up in bed next to someone every morning, arguing at night which series to watch on Netflix (not that there’s anything left unwatched. Fingers crossed for the ‘Lonely Homo Expansion Pack with bonus episodes’).

Social Media doesn’t help either. Talk about having it rubbed in our faces. It can be a check-in at a romantic restaurant or a shot of them wearing matching harnesses and short shorts at Madrid Pride. But honestly, you really need to learn to look past that. Past the flat stomachs, tattooed arms, the staged photos cuddled up in bed… You are only really seeing what they want you to see!

Look, I know I sound jaded but I am NOT knocking any of the above. I have many friends in perfectly happy relationships. Am I jealous? A little bit of course…

But imagine marrying someone to find out that when they take photos you can still see the handle of the selfie-stick in the shot… Urrgghh. No.

I have come to a point in my life where I have FINALLY realized I do not need a boyfriend to make me whole. I am a fully functioning and successful adult all by myself (most of the time). There is nothing wrong with me!

A) I don’t think I am ready for a relationship and,
B) I have not yet met the person who will change that. And that is OK!

There is no age limit on “settling down”.

Since we were young we have had it drilled into our heads that we should have achieved certain things by the time we are 25… By 30, by 40. The house, the job, the dog (OK fine, or CAT… I can hear some of you hissing) and the perfect partner.

I’ve never been in a “long term relationship” and I don’t own any property or furniture. However, I have lived in more cities than I can count on one hand, I’ve had amazing holidays and experiences and I have friends and loved ones scattered across the globe. Sometimes I feel alone, yes.

But being in a relationship will never define me as a person. Right now I am happy taking over the whole sofa on an evening, waking up alone in bed, going on a string of dates, having a one night stand, kissing 4 guys in one night… *cough* Last weekend *cough*!

It is OK to be single. Don’t let anyone or anything make you think otherwise.


Comments (2)

  1. Avatar Kizzy Brown says:

    Pat you are amazing ❤️ Your sense of humour is second to none, I look forward to reading more of your blogs, great first post well done

  2. Avatar Ryan says:

    Spot on my friend, I’m in exactly the same position as you and agree with everything you’ve said! You look good man X


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