What’s your going out checklist?

Gaydar Blog

Gaydar Blog
04 June 2024

Going out doesn’t have to be a big deal, but it is a good opportunity to take a moment, give yourself a once-over in the mirror, and ask yourself – am I bringing my A-game?

Everyone has their own getting-ready-to-go-out regime and rituals. It’s important to find what works for you, the process that you need to follow before you can take a final pose in front of the mirror and confirm to yourself – ready.

Your going out checklist might include some of the following steps.


Making time to treat yourself to a professional shave from a barber is definitely worth doing if possible, but if you’ve got low-maintenance facial hair then it might be easier just to give yourself a quick tidy up.

The key thing is that you give a great first impression – you don’t want to look over-worked, just sleek and freshly groomed.


There’s nothing wrong with a bit of muscle-bear fur and scruff, but you still need to be able to see the wood from the trees.

Giving your pubes a quick trim is probably a sensible idea. You might want to think about shaving your balls. All of this makes your dick look bigger and generally a bit more appealing.

Also, have a think about your butt. If you’re a hairy guy, no one is expecting you to shave or wax your ass, but if you’re hoping that someone is going to rim you at some stage during the night, then it might be helpful to give yourself a bit of a trim to make access as easy as possible.


Whatever the event that you’re heading out to, there’s inevitably going to be photos taken, and they’re going to be plastered over someone’s social media.

What you don’t want is for someone to be looking at your photos and thinking that you look a bit tired and run-down.

If time and money weren’t a factor, then a professional facial and sports massage would probably factor somewhere in your getting ready routine, but realistically you’re going to have to do it yourself.

Don’t try a new product on the day that you’re going somewhere special. You need a beauty regime that is tried-and-tested and that you’re confident will give you the results that you’re looking for.


No matter how many clothes you have in your closet, when it comes to getting ready to go out it’s difficult to escape the feeling that you have nothing to wear, or at least nothing that makes you feel like you think you should be feeling for whatever occasion you’re preparing for.

While we’d all like to go out wearing something memorable – a show-stopper, something that makes heads turn – if you’re putting your outfit together at the last minute then you’re better to go for something that you know you feel good in, that you’ll be comfortable in, and that will survive whatever kind of night you’re planning on.

Acceptance Speech

You might not be heading to the kind of event where they hand out lifetime achievement awards, but you never know when you’ll need to propose a toast, or step up to the microphone and say a few words. It never hurts to be prepared.

At the very least, be ready with some engaging answers for the inevitable conversation-starters such as “What have you been up to?” or “Got any travel plans?”

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Comments (4)

  1. Avatar Brian says:

    Unfortunately this happens all too often with gay men (not just gay men of course). When coming from an abusive family, society and culture, it is common to seek solace in the arms of someone who has experience of the same, fueled by the belief that they will intuitively understand. External affirmation. Is it very unfortunate and destructive to find that your new partner (or replacement, adopted/adoptive community – so called gay community) is just as abusive/destructive as the one you have torn yourself/or been driven away by. The other person may sense your percieved hurt as a weakness and relate to it indeed, either by becoming co-dependant (not loving) and/or domineering. Inflicting pain and suffering is their way of feeling in control and yet another form of external affirmation/validation and the cycle continues. This can be incedibly difficult to break out of, if you gain the self confidence to say no and recognise destructive relationships, then you may find you are isolated as the behaviour has become “normalised” within that culture, it is akin to being groped in a gay bar and when you object “well you are gay and you are in a gay bar so what do you expect”, as if somehow you are at fault for not being flattered and appreciative that someone finds you sexually attractive, apply that same thinking to personal relationships. I often wonder why gay bars close down and gay communities no longer exist (if they ever did, or if we just created the illusion of a community to provide a sense of security and comradeship, sense of belonging if you will) because of internet dating, so inseatd of being groped in a bar, you are now asked to share pics of your privates without so much of the courtesy of a “hi”. The props have changed but the script remains the same. For me, I think the price of isolation and rejection is worth it, but for others it may be too hgh a price, a paradigm shift is required. B

  2. Avatar Kevin Williams says:

    Yes iv been in a 37 year relationship. Now broken up and still living with ex and working with him he dates guys but when a guy hits on me he becomes controlling towards me.

  3. Avatar Eddie says:

    Just don’t live together. The open door is a great thing.. whether as an invitation or an exit.

  4. Avatar Max Power says:

    Yeah well this is all one side of the story. Maybe the writer if this article is mind f’n these guys into the point of uncontrollable anger.
    Yeah i know, you still shouldn’t hit, i couldn’t agree more. But everyone has their breaking point & we just aren’t told enough about these “toxic” relationships to know if this guy is the toxic one or if its the guys he’s choosing or most likely a little of both.


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