Getting Out of the Dating Rut

Gaydar Blog

Gaydar Blog
27 January 2024

Do you find yourself complaining to your friends how bored you are of dating? “It’s the same date every time.” “I just go to the same place, and end up on the same date!” “It’s like Ground Hog day … same date, different guy!”

Let’s be honest, dating can be exhausting!

Why do we do it? We do it because sex is a basic human need. Intimacy is a human need. We want to meet and connect with other guys because we’re social beings who need relationships in order to navigate our lives. Dating is an essential part of who we are and what we do.

But if going on dates is feeling like hard work, how do you get out of that rut?

Know when enough is enough

Dating can get tiring. If nothing is developing from the dates that you’re going on, the highs and the lows can start to get a bit dull after a while.

The key to successful dating is to recognise when it’s getting too much for you. Change things up a bit. Give yourself a few weeks away from dating all together, or try something different. Check out a live singles event instead, or put your single status to the back of your mind entirely and focus on other stuff instead.

Don’t let dating be your only hobby

Dating is just a mechanism to meeting new people. Yes, it might take up a lot of your time, but it should certainly never become your only hobby.

If you’re looking for a long term relationship, then getting a date is only the first hurdle of a long dating process. If you want to find a long-term partner, then you need to be bringing the best version of yourself to your dates – people are attracted to interesting people who have hobbies and passions. If dating has become your only pass-time, other than work, you’re going to make for a rather dull date.

Take a step back. Have a think about what defines you. What do you love to do? What makes you the person you are? Once you’ve answered those questions, take some time out to focus on those things. The other person should never complete you. You need to be a whole person before you start to look for a partner to complement you.

Mix it up

You are in charge of your own dating destiny! If things start to feel rather repetitive and dull, than make some changes. Do something different. If you keep finding yourself on dinner dates, or pub dates, and you’re getting bored, then say something. Suggest something different to your date. There are heaps of fun first date options out there.

Look around the town or city you live in, and see if anything appeals. Is there a show you’ve been wanting to go to?   An exhibition at a gallery or a museum? Do you love playing a particular sport? Remember, you’re using your free time to date. How do you want to spend that free time?

If you suggest something which you love to do, as an alternative to a more traditional type of date, you may learn a lot about your compatibility with the other person. Also, by going on a more active date, you will reduce a lot of the first date pressure, and the situation will create a number of ice-breakers to help you on the date.

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