We ARE in-fact magical unicorns that can choose to leave a trail of rainbows in our wake if we so choose. However, we don’t like to make the straight people jealous so we keep it on the down low.

Each and every one of us has received a medal from either Elton John or Ellen Degeneres after coming out simply titled “congrats on the gayness“.

The reason why we have our own gay clubs is actually because we feed off of each others gay energy, like a plant taking in the sunlight. The dancing along to Madonna actually just helps speed up the synthesising process.

We were visited by grand fairies of great dress sense and wit which is why we are blessed with such talents.

When we say Meryl Streep is our Goddess, we aren’t kidding. We had all received visions of her being fabulous in the Devil wears Prada before it was released and after that, we knew we had found a hero we could all follow.

Various ‘religions’ in the gay community include, the church of Ru Paul, the temple of L Word and the society of Lady Gaga. (Obviously Meryl is still the ultimate high power though.)

Gay men are seriously allergic to camouflage jackets, Megan Fox and hunting gear of all types. Gay women are allergic to movies starring Channing Tatum, sparkly lip gloss and Nicholas Sparks novels. (Cue dry heaving when the Notebook comes on TV.)

We are not blood-sucking vampires who stalk around in the night attempting to convert young straight people to the agenda… We are werewolves, get it right.

We have a special strand in our DNA that makes an abundance of hand gestures and saying “yaaaaaaaas” instead of “yes” a must.

The only reason we exist to be the ‘gay best friend‘, and therefore to make girlfriends better girlfriends. How else do you think she learns how to give a guy space and to put that  makeup on all seductive like?


If you haven’t already guessed it, this article is full to the brim with sarcasm….. or is it?