WHAT ABOUT TAKING THINGS SLOW

It poses a dilemma when your partner perhaps wants to move things faster in the relationship than you do.

What if you don’t want to move in together as soon as he wants to?
What if you’re not planning a beautiful white wedding and he is?

First of all, don’t panic!

If you don’t want to move in after four months together, you’re not weird!  You’re not some strange alien, and it doesn’t make you any less of a fantastic human being for that matter. Yeah, it’s presumptuous of us, but we like to think all of our readers are fantastic human beings.

For a start the younger generation seem to have a more ‘casual’ approach to relationships and hooking up in general, so it only makes sense that some younger guys choose to not wear their hearts on their sleeves and confess their undying love for their partner as quickly.

We hear you asking, ‘ah yes, but what if when you get a little more seasoned’, (that’s our charming way of saying growing older but with fabulousness darling of course). What if you still don’t feel the need to jump into a relationship with matching knitted jumpers and scheduled date nights?

Perhaps you’ve been hurt in the past and are scared to fall hard again. While that may sound like a plot line to a romantic drama, it’s a legit reason that applies to a lot of guys. Some guys are unfortunate to have a string of bad relationships behind them, but hey,

you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince!

After those kinds of experiences sometimes building up a personal barrier is something that comes naturally and that’s OK. Some people just prefer to keep things casual.  If your partner prefers this kind of relationship, just keep an eye out for reasons why. Others might just be used to a more isolated lifestyle. Maybe they are just an introvert or an only child, or someone generally just used to having their own space. It may just take those people a little longer to warm up to the idea of sharing space with someone constantly.

As long as you are not a complete ice king, Mr right should be understanding, even if he does want you to move in after a month or two. The key word is compromise. Understand that if after five years you are still not wanting to move in, it’s obviously going to be upsetting for him. At the same time, if you have your reasons for taking things a little slower, your partner should be understanding and not take it personally. Sometimes life and love is all about balance.