We like confident guys. We also like guys who are not afraid of what they want in life, whether it’s dating, a serious relationship or just a one night stand. What we don’t like is when somebody tricks someone else into thinking they want the same thing, only to let them down later on, leaving them heartbroken. That’s not cool. If you really like a guy but are unsure about his motivations, we have pulled together a list of tips to help you tell if he’s the real deal, or is just saying anything to impress you.

Is he an attention hound? You know the type, constantly uploading selfies onto Facebook and Instagram with an abundance of hashtags like #gay #gayguy #hotgayguy #instagay #hot #sexy. It’s one thing to be confident, it’s another to do everything in life with the underlying message “Everybody look at me, I’m hot and I know it.”

How confident is he and how does he show it? There’s a big difference between somebody being proud of what they have achieved; and somebody who genuinely believes they’re amazing and you should be thankful you got a date with them.

Is he rarely available to meet? If he’s really into you, surely he would make the time to see you at the weekend, unless he has a job that requires him to work weekends. We don’t want to be too cynical, but have you stopped to think the reason why he’s constantly making rain checks is because he’s meeting up with other guys?

He’s very secretive about his past or has confessed to not having many relationships, or hasn’t had one for a while despite being heavily into the gay scene. It might be that he’s had his heart broken and he’s careful but if he enjoys the clubbing scene a lot more than most, it could be a telling sign.

He seems to conveniently have everything in common with you. We get that at first you are excited by your similarities, but is he eerily similar? What’s the likeliness that he’s also collected every single Disney pin from the year 1998? Could it be possible that he’s telling you exactly what you want to hear just to get you into bed?

He always wants to meet up late and even the texts you receive from him are nearly always after midnight? Unless he’s a gremlin, we see this as prime booty call type behaviour.

You always seem to be the first to make contact, unless of course he only contacts you late at night.

Just how many topless pictures of himself are there on social media? Hmm, think about this one as it could be another sign of him wanting to show off to other guys.

Does he say that he can’t help but be a flirtatious person but then openly flirt with other guys online or right infront of you?

Are there any signs of you together online? Does he ever post about you or share pictures of you both online? Are there any references to you at all, even if it’s just a status that’s hinted towards you?

How much of a walking, talking cliché is he? Is he all words and no actions, is his charm off the scale, does he use the cliché lines and follow up with “Oh I know it’s such a typical thing to say but I really mean it”?

He doesn’t strive hard for the deep and meaningful conversations when he’s with you, nor does he ever seem to really want to get to know more about you after the date is done.

If your guy fits three or more of said criteria, he could be a player. Before moving forward and risking possible hurt, make sure you both are on the same page. If he’s choosing to live the bachelor lifestyle it’s important to remember that there isn’t anything wrong with that but he should make his intentions clear to you. This is especially true if you have made it clear to him that you are not looking for a one night stand or even just casual dating.